causal agent

how did this one person that you met able to affect your life entirely?

my life in these recent times, was all about this particular person.

that i care so much.

i am not sure how did i come to adore, this person.

i guess, empathy led to caring then time spent together strengthened the bond.

because of you, i got to know your family.

and i, have become more than a stranger.

especially when it involved the elderly.

you know how those neneks and atuks, they yearn for the presence of their kids?

the thing that they're afraid the most...is being lonely.

and what am i doing?

they even name that room after me

i am not a replacement..

nor do i intend to.

i have my owns to think about.

and then there are..

おんなのこ
tbh, i don't know what they see in me.

i know they meant well.

i know they're good people.

and i know i've reached my time.

for that matter.

and i don't know, am not even sure if this is it.

how am i supposed to know?

am i the right person to lead you?

change you?

i don't judge you for being the way you are.

i understand your upbringing may differ from me.

i also believe people can change.

but, i don't know.

what i am scared the most..

will always be;

being unable to achieve what people expect me to do.

– failure.

i am not afraid of loneliness.

heck, that's how introverts live their life.

it's not that we won't socialize, it's just we prefer be on our own.

be with the right person. 

those that don't matter we are not interested in.

ahh, i used to think a lot about these sort of matters.

as of right now, i just let it go its way.

let it flow..

let it be as i see fit.

if we're meant to be, we will be.

what matters the most..

is that i can be with this causal agent that i treasure the most.

again, never stop praying. 

no one knows best but Allah.