selfless

what were you trying to achieve?

all these while, you have been selfless.

you didn't think about yourself

you thought that being together was what matter

you thought that the short time was enough

rather than doing anything else,

you believed it's worthwhile

just to be able to be with you

you traveled so far

you spent time

and money

for whom?

for what?

what were you trying to gain from it?

were you satisfied?

even when you're together,

you couldn't even actually be together

you're still alone

on that piece of furniture, king

you lied there by yourself, comfortably

you saw the dim light outside

you realized what you were

you said to yourself,

it's okay

it's okay

no it's not

you shouldn't keep be doing this

you have to stop

they're holding hands

they walked side by side

now where were you?

you, were, alone

you are.

you are three

that's what you are, always

always being the third, of all

the truth is,

all this time, you were only hiding your pain

you were only ignoring it

fight or flight

you rather escape, get away than dealing with it

this love,

is it for naught?

tell me,

will i be able to have what you have?

sometimes, i felt tired

of doing this
 
of not thinking about myself

of having to see you and say good bye

sometimes,

i wish i never met you.





end note: writing is my therapy. felt so much better when you could pour it all out. you can interpret my writings in any way you want, but it's not what you think.