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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

logged #1

last night i dreamt. you were there. next to me. like we were back then. it felt good. for a moment. then i said to myself. this is too good to be true. no, this can't be. finally i realized that it was just a dream. i think i was half-awoken. and in that moment, i knew. i knew for sure that this is just a dream. you are not, with me. the end.

anyway. i've decided to write log diary every bits and then. or a journal. whatever it is called. maybe twice a month? too lazy to write on a book these days, so blog it is!

like anybody's been reading this blog anyway.
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morning.
i think i was half-awoken during my sleep last night. my rem cycle must have been disrupted or something. i slept but at the same time i was awake. alerted. the first time i opened my eyes was at 5 am. seeing it's still early, i continued on sleeping. you know, when you're awaken from your sleep, your sleep after that won't have any quality. it happened to me last night. no not just last night. always. anyway, felt like having headaches, like i wasn't having an adequate sleep..then i remembered i've set my alarm to 7.05am yesterday....so why don't we wait for it to ring then huh?

bo. good. great. took a bath. gussied up. oh yes i've already ironed the shirt last sunday. wore blue. even the under garment. hoho it's a blue day. i often said to myself no need to hurry, so i was relaxing...hahaha. elevator was quiet. always was. this customs living quarters, is quiet. perhaps their working hours are not like usual.

my suzuki shogun axelo, again, as usual, each time the weather is cold (i bet it's raining last night) it will have problem to start. need to use choke and let it runs for a while... hey you're wasting my time! cold starts. as a result, i was late again today! ahahaha 8:02am.

so what if i'm late. today breakfast with vico 250ml and high5 sausage bread.
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mid-morning.
nothing. this job is useless. clueless. it's not that i didn't appreciate the job..but come on! it is not meant for me. never was. how did i think, ever, that i can do this?

what have i been doing these past few years anyway? why didn't i look for what i want sooner? i have the time! instead... oh and last march! what was i doing?? seriously. i planned for this. this is what i want! but what was i doing??? shit

you only had one chance! remember.

am i too late? can i still have the chance?

let's see next year...march. please remember, dear me.

oh i ate the scone that she gave me. got nuts and raisins inside. not bad. grain loaf you do produce good breads.
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lunch.
kedai pak haji as usual. oh yes. my favorite is there. ugh what is it called? i'm really bad with menu or "nama masakan". why the hell am i a dietitian? ahh it's ikan kembong yang dikerat tengah dan diletakkan nyok pedas2 tu....ikan sebelah? whatever. i don't care. it tasted good. the fish felt fresh. and thus. i didn't order any drinks. why do we malaysians love to waste money on drinks? if only they know what i know.

oh yeah. after finished eating, you're going to like this story. i got honked! hahahaha!

so i walked away from the restaurant...along the road..and i realized the car which 200m behind (it's a one-way) moving slow..so i crossed the small road without a care, so carefree..lalalala. and then.. HONK HONK HONK! *babik anak haram*

hahaha.

i don't know what's the uncle's problem. come on, pakcik, (it's a chinese, 40-50's i guess) it's hospital area. don't you know honk etiquette? screw you. you're the one slowing down not me. if not, i won't cross. and one more, people with the right mind, will let the person just cross the road..i mean it's a fukken small road you sohai.. yet you pressed the horn three times? heeyyyyy!

i was never the man who's acting on impulse, got angry so sudden. i was relaxed. i didn't even hurry to the opposite road. i walked the same, and i waited. waited to see who is the driver. driving myvi. and that's how i know it's a pakcik.

and my colleague said his car has been damaged somehow on the right side. could be he has been in an accident. and he's stressed. unable to think. moody. based on her conjecture...just by looking at his car..

this is penang..

zuhur. sleep for a while. called my mom. about may 11. about my signed agreement.
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afternoon
playing word scramble. sitting at pantry. reading metro. heck. if only i got a private place where i can read books.....

sekejap duduk pantri, sekejap duduk bilik, sekejap gi surau, sekejap duduk kaunter. jeez.
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evening
hakim tomyam 2. nasi goreng black pepper telur dadar. what only 4.50? cool. get pisang goreng. RM1.

gah. arriving my room.. felt so tired. everything is troublesome. mendokusai. staring at my asus is more convenient.

one episode of modern family. cleaned up. one episode of grey's anatomy. sorting my files. and writing this.

that's all i guess..

will i get my new car tomorrow though.......? oh roti beli ahad ari tu nak expired 1 may. duh. tak sentuh lagik.