Wednesday, November 25, 2015

all i want

all i want is.. be able do the things i love with the person i love

let's run together

would you like to be my pacer?

it's okay if you're slower

it's okay if you're a 10K

heck i can manage 3K

if it's you.

can you do that?

let's have a nature getaway

i don't know;

we might do trail run

why don't we trek the jungle?

oh if we have the time, we can hike the hills, or better yet, the mountain

let's camp somewhere with a view

that kind of view

you know, that.


if we have money, let's plan a trip

just the two of us

someplace that we would be able to forget

all the care in the world

relieve us from all of the burdens

learning one or two things along the way

which country should we go first?


i call dibs on that. haha!

it's a known fact that i'm such a weeabo

if i'm going to master Japanese,

would you support me through it?

would you not make fun of me?

when there's nothing to do at the weekend,

you would remind me about the movies that i've been wanting to watch that i've forgotten about

we would watch it together

because, well, you're also enjoying it

the way i would

i know you would

hey, let's talk less.

let's read a book

it's okay if we like a different genre

it's okay if our favorite authors have weird names

it's okay if i would never comprehend your taste

let's just sit and lie

lean on each other


just read..

in our own library

if we're bored of the things we do

if we've run out of ideas of doing anything

if we're too busy with our work

it's okay

why don't we just walk

maybe at the mall

maybe at the park

maybe along the lake

holding hands

just you and me

walking and doing nothing..

what about kids you ask?

to be honest,

i haven't thought much about that matter

i love kids

i am good with them

kids love me

i believe, when you have kids, everything's going to change

priority might not be the same

sacrifice is a must

they'll be the jewels of our heart

one thing you should know

i am bad at expressing



if you find me at loss of words

please be smart about it

and read my mind

be my telepathy

if someday we feel like we're bored of each other

you would remind me of all the good times

i would remind you of the funniest times

silliest things you did

i did

we did


we would grow old together..

where do you want to spend your old days?

our retirement

would you want to know where i want to be?

that's a privilege information

i'll only disclose to you

if we've truly made up our mind

about us

all i can say is,

i've spent half of my year there

i love the place

it suits my ideal of living

let's be old there

but then,

we have to remember

we have obligation


would you be there during my highs and lows?

no, the question is..

would i be there as well?

would we be able to support each other?

through hard days

through silly fights

would we be able to bear it all?

would the two of us.. strong?

.....these things that you, i and everyone want..

why can't they ever be real?

why do these only stay in the imaginary mind?



you can't always get what you want.

p/s: to you; which existence is yet to be known.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

you just knew.

do you believe that when you first meet someone, if you have connection with that person, you just knew?

when your eyes first meet each other..

you just knew something's going to happen between both of you.

that, you are going to get close.

that, you and her/him are going to be more than this.

you have the feeling of curiosity

so curious.

you would want to know more about them

more, and more.

because, to you, at the time, she/he is the most interesting person to you.

all sort of emotions were flushing through your mind


there's something - a thread, is connecting, binding you and them

it is out of your control

all the events that's been happening, it will only lead to you and them.

strengthening the bond

it has been written on the walls

for both of you.

over time, suddenly you realize you are so in love

you found out that you just want to be by their side more than anything

you care about them more than anything

you just..knew.

this is what we are supposed to be.


..and when it's the time,


you hate it.

as is that person.

it is a mutual emotion.

if you were feeling all of those..


keep them in your heart.

please treat them with love.


because you two are meant for each other.


Sunday, October 11, 2015


you have to remember.

let's not forget

the days that you had..

with that person

all of your sweet memories

never ever, ever erase them

sometimes, you didn't ask for it to happen

all of those flashbacks 

suddenly appearing

intruding your mind

while taking your shower,

while trying to drift off to sleep,

while sitting in the mosque,

waiting for your prayer..

while driving alone,

you don't really remember everything that happened on that day

or on that particular time

what you actually do remember were..

the feelings that you had then

the emotions

how deeply you feel for the person

how much you care

how badly you want to be with them

the memories sort of flushing, flowing one by one..

into your head.

what did it mean?

why did they appear out of the blue?

why were you afraid to forget?


never let those memories fade away..

never let those emotions change..

i want to remember you.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

random motivational words

i was trying to write this for my facebook status...and then it felt tooo cheesy.
tak jadi nak post.

well i edited the post to be shorter.

because of you i can smile again

i was troubled

i was lonely

i had lost hope

in anyone

in anything..

i had been searching for a reason

a reason for this

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

chanz's review: Yowamushi Pedal

Now it's time for me to resume my anime series that I have left a looong time ago.

One of them is Yowamushi Pedal.

From the pedal, you might have already guessed, it's about bicycle.

Bicycle road racing.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

sembang chat dengan celcom

Sapa pernah buat benda ni?


Best jugak.

Tapi lambat der mamat ni type.

Gua type lagi cepat.

His English is proper although having many grammatical errors. It's a good medium to interact with customers. I hope that whatever he told me here is correct..too many inaccurate information I got..

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

blinding love

have you ever came upon yourself and realized that what have you been doing for someone..

is exactly like the saying,
love is blind
you lost your priority just because of that person

you would go such length, so far just for their sake.

you would sacrifice your time just to be by their side

you would do anything, that they would ask of you.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

the headache(s)

kerap kali aku alami.

bukan migrain.

how to best describe it?

is it really just inadequate sleeping?

causal agent

how did this one person that you met able to affect your life entirely?

my life in these recent times, was all about this particular person.

Friday, July 10, 2015

soba ni itai yo

Mengapa kau menangis?
Padahal, aku belum menangis.
Kerna ku tahu,
kaulah yang lebih bersedih dari ku
Aku dah tak tahu
siapa antara kita yang merasa lebih pedih?
Hari ini seharusnya, menjadi hari tak bererti
Namun bila kita bersama, ia menjadi harta berharga 
Ku ingin selalu bersamamu..
Apakah ada, hal yang bisa ku lakukan untuk dirimu?
Selalu untukmu..
Selamanya untukmu..
Ku ingin kau terus tersenyum selamanya

Semuanya; kebaikan hatimu
dan juga kehangatanmu yang begitu jujur
bagaikan bunga matahari
Mulai sekarang,
ku juga ingin mengirimkannya kepada mu
Kerna kau lah yang membuatku menyedari
adanya kebahagiaan di sini

Nun jauh di sana, masa depan cerah sedia menunggu
Seandainya suatu hari, kita terpisah pun
Teruslah menyusuri jalan kita masing-masing
Aku percaya di hujung jalan itu,
kita pasti akan bertemu lagi 

Langkah yang kita tapaki
seharusnya tak sejalan
Namun sekarang
jalan itu telah menjadi satu arah

Kau yang selalu bersamaku
dan juga saat-saat sederhana kebersamaan kita
Ku berjanji takkan melupakan semuanya
Di hari saat kita memulai perjalanan
Di saat kita saling melambaikan tangan
Ku berharap agar kau terus tersenyum

Semuanya; kebaikan hatimu
dan juga kehangatanmu yang begitu jujur
bagaikan bunga matahari
Ku ingin membalas semuanya itu
Namun, kerana aku tahu dirimu
Ku rasa, kau akan mengatakan
"Semua ini, sudah cukup" kan?

Ku ingin selalu bersamamu
Apakah ada, hal yang bisa ku lakukan untuk dirimu?
Selalu untukmu..
Selamanya untukmu..
Ku ingin kau terus tersenyum selamanya

Semuanya; kebaikan hatimu
dan juga kehangatanmu yang begitu jujur
bagaikan bunga matahari
Mulai sekarang,
ku juga ingin mengirimkannya kepada mu
Kerna aku telah menemukan
makna kebahagiaan sesungguhnya..

terjemahan lirik kredit pada Nakari Amane

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


ramai tak sedar akan kekuatan doa.

kita solat, kita doa, kita ikhtiar, kita tawakal.

selalu, bila akhirnya kita dapat apa yang kita nak tu..

ia adalah hasil dari doa-doa kita.

atau doa insan lain untuk kita.

mungkin pada masa lalu.

mungkin pada ketika dan saat itu ia dimakbulkan.

kita tak sedar.

sebabnya, kekadang yang kita minta tu bukanlah umpama apa yang kita bayangkan.

malah mungkin lebih baik, lebih elok.

aku pernah berdoa..


agar diberikan kekuatan.


keteguhan, ketetapan.

kerana aku mudah..


mudah sangat

terjerumus kepada perkara yang jauh.

dari rahmat-Nya.

bagi aku, itulah jihad paling besar kena lawan.

dalam meniti kehidupan harian,

aku bertemu dengan insan-insan yang telah ditakdirkan oleh Nya.

mengubah kehidupan aku

aku gembira.


mereka menguatkan aku.

agar sentiasa berada dalam landasan Mu.

bila mana aku sedar, yang doa aku itu dimakbulkan.

aku menangis.

kerna sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mendengar.

apa yang dizahirkan mahupun hanya terdetik di dalam hati.


hari demi hari,

jangan pernah putus.

panjatkan pengharapan.

dan sentiasa bersangka baik.

Sunday, June 21, 2015


kenapa kita suka buat sesuatu yang kita tak suka?

benarkah kita tak ada pilihan?

atau kita sebenarnya penakut?

tak berani ambil risiko?

mahukan jalan mudah?

mahukan stability?

ramai aku jumpa..

menyatakan ketidakpuashatian

tidak merasa puas dengan kerja mereka

"bukan ini yang dicari.."

tak suka jabatan ini

tak suka company ini.

tak suka kerja ini.

tak usah aku bicara soal diri sendiri.

kalian yang membaca blog ini pun tentu tahu bagaimana aku rasa tentang....well.

panjang cerita nanti.

tldr; i am supposed to do something related to maths, physics or language. i'm good at it, very.

heyy i don't want to talk about myself.

sambung balik..

adakah kita tak bersyukur bila kita complain tentang hidup kita?

aku kira itu memang sifat manusia.

dah fitrah.

cumanya, sejauh mana kita punya complain tu bagi kesan pada diri kita?

adakah semakin dekat pada Maha Pencipta?

atau jauh dari rahmat-Nya?

semua orang nak hidup selesa.

seperti yang diujarkan Abraham Maslow, ringkasnya ada lima perkara kehendak manusia..

1) nak hidup selama boleh
2) nak sejahtera
3) nak kasih sayang dari yang lain
4) nak rasa hormat dari yang lain
5) nak capai impian atau ideal

 jadi, bila mana kita tak merasa kita miliki salah satu dari lima ini...maka manusia akan rasa tidak puas.

tidak lengkap.


aku kira nombor 5 paling utama. dan paling ramai yang tidak berupaya memilikinya..

kerna setiap dari kita punya kehendak tersendiri. ideal masing-masing.

nombor 3?

itu aku kecapi...selalunya hanya sementara cuma.

we can't always get what we want.

kadang-kadang, bila kita tak dapat yang kita nak (seperti kat atas tu), kita selalu lupa..

yang kasih sayang Allah sebenarnya lebih dari segalanya.

nikmat yang dikurniakan kat kita.

kita selalu lupa.

aku pernah tulis sebelum ni...tentang redha.

inilah perkara paling payah untuk manusia nak buat.

memang payah.

aku rasa, kalaupun kita complain, merungut, sighing..

pastikan ia hanyalah luahan sahaja.

tak bermakna kita tak bersyukur bila kita merungut.

tujuannya hanyalah untuk kita lepaskan apa di dalam hati.

jangan dizahirkan dengan perbuatan yang menampakkan keingkaran.


sentiasa doa.

yang terbaik.

dan sangka yang baik-baik...

إن شاء الله

Saturday, May 9, 2015







someone new

you know how do a child be able to brighten a couple's life?

because it's new.

something new.


Friday, May 8, 2015

i am not at fault

is it human nature to put the blame on others?


Sunday, April 19, 2015

we might have met

...i wonder.

if we might have met?

on the roads somewhere?

maybe at the mall?

oh i know. at the cafeteria?

wait wait....

at the bookstore?

maybe while lining up to pay for our groceries..

oh was that you who were wearing this peculiar black jacket with abstract design that day?

but your face never really caught my eye?

now now..was that you in the monorail..

which i had a glimpse on?

wearing a lovely red dress with your long hair

such mesmerizing eyes?

reading your books

staring at the windows..


oh have we talked to each other?

could be, momentarily?

could we have shared..

"excuse me"

"it's my pleasure"

oh yeah i know.

we might have glanced at each other.

have we smiled to each other that day?

maybe it's just common virtue

and yet..

we never knew each other

we were strangers.

no matter what had happened to us then..

it didn't matter.

because in the end,

we finally met.

it's a miracle.

i'm glad i met you, i hope you know that.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

all i need

ku tercungap-cungap
oh kenapa
tidak ku belajar dari kesilapan
ku hilang erti percaya
sungguhpun telah ku cuba
untuk pulih

masih mampukah kau lihat
jiwa dan hatiku
duka lara ini tiada lagi
saat kau peluk ku dalam dakapanmu

jangan musnahkan segala ku perlu
jadikan hati ini tempat lebih baik
berikan ku alasan untuk percaya
jangan hancurkan aku
telah kau buka pintu ini
tolong jangan tutup kembali..

ku di penjuru lagi
ku harap mampu lepaskannya
ya aku tahu hanya selangkah 
untuk pulihkan segalanya

jangan padamkan saki baki diriku
jadikan hati ini tempat lebih baik

telah ku cuba berkali-kali
namun palsu cuma
hapuskan dinding ini
jangan hancurkan aku
aku begitu ingin percaya
ini yang hakiki

selamatkan aku
dari ketakutan ini
jangan musnahkan aku



Monday, April 13, 2015


i feel like our life is repeating itself..

not just our life.

our world.

our universe.

they are a circle.

that's why the Earth is round?

rotating over and over again..

our galaxy?

my point is...we tend to repeat our history.

or perhaps, history will always have a way to repeat itself?

Sunday, April 5, 2015

save me once again

bagai batu aku karam
makin jauh dari pandangan

semua cinta yang telah ku temui
tak bisa kembalikan aku

ku terkapar keseorangan..

jangan kau bilang ini penamatnya
resah sungguh dalam hati
ku mungkin kan sesat lagi

oh terima kasih ku ucapkan
kesabaran dan waktu
yang telah kau berikan
ku tak pernah menyangka
kau rupa-rupanya
cuba selamatkan aku

bebaskan ku dari bebayang ini
yang membejatkan bahuku

jangan pernah bilang
ini kesudahannya
belum lagi belum

ku sedar aku lemah
jiwa ini mahu lebih
dari yang ku perlukan

ku berdiri di hujung hentian
kekosongan dalam diri

tolong jangan tinggalkan aku
ku mohon
sungguh-sungguh pada mu

terima kasih ku ucapkan
ku tak pernah menyangka
kau rupa-rupanya
cuba selamatkan aku
wahai kamu pemilik hati

would you save me once again...

- Olahan dari lagu The Rasmus -

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Friday, April 3, 2015


kekadang aku rasa memang wujudnya satu medan telepati yang dipanggil morphogenetic field. apa itu morphogenetic field?

aku mula diperkenalkan dengan terma ini melalui game 3DS. 999.

senang cerita, teori ini (hipotesis mungkin) mengatakan terdapat satu medan yang menghubungkan kita semua tanpa kita sedari. sungguhpun jauh kita berada. macam wireless. kita nampak tak? tak kan? tapi bagaimana boleh menghubungkan antara peranti dengan peranti?

mungkin pseudoscience.

Friday, March 20, 2015


kehidupan ini dipenuhi dengan misteri.

sering kali jua terselitnya keajaiban.

"oh tak sangka!"


sesuatu yang kita anggap remeh seperti pertemuan.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

tentang puisi (kah?)


Lama tak berblog.

Pembaca bisu blog ini ramai (baca: dari pelbagai golongan) bagi komen secara peribadi pada saya.

"blog sudah jadi blog puitis lepas grad"

"tak faham...puitis sangat"

"ada bakat..bila nak bukukan?"

Terima kasih kerana masih peduli akan blog ini wahai sobat sekalian.

Monday, February 2, 2015

let go

why couldn't i let it go?

why wasn't i?

why am i still stuck on you?

why hadn't i been able to forget?

i am so tired of this

wasn't this too much for me to bear?

why couldn't i just get on with my life?

why couldn't i?

wasn't this enough already?

hadn't i been going through so much pain?

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Saturday, January 3, 2015

be with you

when you found someone you care about..

someone you like

katniss and rue


she shouldn't have died.


why the hell i feel for these two so much!!


i haet haircut

how do i get a good haircut?

i haet haricut.